‘The 12 Days of Christmas Eating’ mega-mix

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Category: Tubbymistress

There’s a good reason why holidays end and people return to the joys of ’reality’. If my recent holiday went any longer, I feel sure that I would become my mascot, the pink pig at the top of the page there. This is why, Twelve days of Christmas-style.

On the first day of Christmas eating, my true love gave to me
A real steak sandwich that was nice but chewy.

The real steak sandwich at Earl Canteen: a reward after some last-day Christmas shopping. The steak was tough to chew through, making for an arduous eating experience. Even so, it was a tasty combination of caramelised onion, cheese, beetroot, tomato and cos lettuce that will make me come back for another bite.

Mini apricot danish at Laurent

Mini apricot danish at Laurent

On the second day of Christmas eating, my true love gave to me
Two mini apricot danishes
And a real steak sandwich that was nice but chewy.

The mini apricot danish at Laurent, accompanied by a tenth of a cappuccino, aka ‘Intermission at the Boxing Day Sales’. It might have been nice to stop by Brunetti (the recently embedded version at Myer’s Bourke St store), but on this day, jousting with double prams, bargain-hunting housewives and those pointless escalator attendants? No, thanks.
 

Saffron gnocchi with braised rabbit

Saffron gnocchi with braised rabbit at the Stokehouse, St Kilda

On the third day of Christmas eating, my true love gave to me
Three saffron and braised rabbit gnocchi
Two mini apricot danishes
And a real steak sandwich that was nice but chewy.

The saffron gnocchi with braised rabbit at the Stokehouse downstairs – even better with cider, a window table and a side of scenery. It always seems to be busy and bustling here, but after scoring a table it all felt pretty cruisy, thanks to our personable wait staff and some great food, including the gnocchi, which was rich and packed with flavour. It’s never great having to pay for bread, but … we caved in.

Steak sandwich at Joe's Garage, Brunswick St

Steak sandwich at Joe's Garage, Brunswick St

On the fourth day of Christmas eating, my true love gave to me
Four massive steak sandwiches
Three saffron and braised rabbit gnocchi
Two mini apricot danishes
And a real steak sandwich that was nice but chewy.

The steak sandwich at Joe’s Garage – my second take on this carnivore classic that week.

(When my cousin Clyde asked what I wanted for lunch during our post-Boxing Day shopping trip, I replied, ‘Something small.’

This was not small.)

Italian hot chocolate and mini strawberry tart at Brunetti

Italian hot chocolate and mini strawberry tart at Brunetti

On the fifth day of Christmas eating, my true love gave to me
Five …. bowls … of … friiiies
Four massive steak sandwiches
Three saffron and braised rabbit gnocchi
Two mini apricot danishes
And a real steak sandwich that was nice but chewy.

In reality, my fifth day of eating consisted of a large bowl of pho at an obligatory dodgy-looking Vietnamese place on Swanston St and a mini strawberry tart and Italian hot chocolate at Brunetti (the latter ‘without cream’, as if this was the healthier option), while catching up on gossip with high school friends … but ‘five bowl of fries’ sounded a bit more accurate phonetically.

Oysters at the Crowne Plaza, Torquay

Oysters kilpatrick at the Crowne Plaza, Torquay

On the sixth day of Christmas eating, my true love gave to me
Six Coffin Bay oysters-a-devouring
Five …. bowls … of … friiiies
Four massive steak sandwiches
Three saffron and braised rabbit gnocchi
Two mini apricot danishes
And a real steak sandwich that was nice but chewy.

On the seventh day of Christmas eating, my true love gave to me
Seven scotch fillets-a-demolishing
Six Coffin Bay oysters-a-devouring
Five …. bowls … of … friiiies
Four massive steak sandwiches
Three saffron and braised rabbit gnocchi
Two mini apricot danishes
And a real steak sandwich that was nice but chewy.  

The food at the Crowne Plaza Torquay was so good, we ate at restaurant Seasalt one night, then opted for room service the next. Oysters were on the agenda both times (lime and chill on day 1, kilpatrick on day 2), the former perhaps the best we’d eaten in quite some time. The scotch fillet on day 2 was well over medium-rare, but it was satisfying kicking back with a private feast on what was an energy-sapping 40-degree day.

Fruit salad at the Avenue, Albert Park

Fruit salad from the Avenue, Albert Park

On the eighth day of Christmas eating, my true love gave to me
Eight fruit salads-a-soothing
Seven scotch fillets-a-demolishing
Six Coffin Bay oysters-a-devouring
Five …. bowls … of … friiiies
Four massive steak sandwiches
Three saffron and braised rabbit gnocchi
Two mini apricot danishes
And a real steak sandwich that was nice but chewy.

Attempt #1 at detoxing: Fruit salad at the Avenue, studded with plenty of ripe summer fruits. This place is usually littered with cyclists seeking nourishment after their morning ride. Not so on this day.

Bircher museli at Continental, Albert Park

Bircher museli at Continental, Albert Park

On the ninth day of Christmas eating, my true love gave to me
Nine bircher mueslis a-cleansing
Eight fruit salads-a-soothing
Seven scotch fillets-a-demolishing
Six Coffin Bay oysters-a-devouring
Five …. bowls … of … friiiies
Four massive steak sandwiches
Three saffron and braised rabbit gnocchi
Two mini apricot danishes
And a real steak sandwich that was nice but chewy.

Bircher muesli at Continental, Albert Park, resplendent with apples and strawberries. It’s one of many delights in a pot at this newish addition to Bridport St; the yoghurt parfait is also good. Continental’s fit-out reminds me of a breakfast room in an upscale hotel, complete with procession of enticing cakes and pastries at the entrance.

Bircher muesli with blueberries and bananas at Balderdash, Port Melbourne

Bircher muesli with blueberries and bananas at Balderdash, Port Melbourne

On the tenth day of Christmas eating, my true love gave to me
Ten bircher mueslis a-revitalising
Nine bircher mueslis a-cleansing
Eight fruit salads-a-soothing
Seven scotch fillets-a-demolishing
Six Coffin Bay oysters-a-devouring
Five …. bowls … of … friiiies
Four massive steak sandwiches
Three saffron and braised rabbit gnocchi
Two mini apricot danishes
And a real steak sandwich that was nice but chewy.

Take two on bircher museli at Balderdash, a new-ish cafe on Bay St, Port Melbourne. Berry healthy. Nice guys running the place, too. A welcome addition to what an unrelated local promotional pamphlet dubbed ‘the Paris end of Bay St’.

Scones and iced chocolate at Hanging Rock

Scones and iced chocolate at Hanging Rock

On the eleventh day of Christmas eating, my true love gave to me
Eleven scones a-munching
Ten bircher mueslis a-revitalising
Nine bircher mueslis a-cleansing
Eight fruit salads-a-soothing
Seven scotch fillets-a-demolishing
Six Coffin Bay oysters-a-devouring
Five …. bowls … of … friiiies
Four massive steak sandwiches
Three saffron and braised rabbit gnocchi
Two mini apricot danishes
And a real steak sandwich that was nice but chewy.

Scones and iced chocolate from the cafe in Hanging Rock. It costs a considerable amount for admission to the grounds at Hanging Rock, presumably to assist with the upkeep of the park ($10 by car, less for pedestrians). The decadent iced chocolate was much better value for money. The scones were pretty great too.

The spinach and potato roti from Blue Mini Café in Rosebud

The spinach and potato roti from Blue Mini Café in Rosebud

On the twelfth day of Christmas eating, my true love gave to me
Twelve potato-and-spinach rotis a-snacking 
Eleven scones a-munching
Ten bircher mueslis a-revitalising
Nine bircher mueslis a-cleansing
Eight fruit salads-a-soothing
Seven scotch fillets-a-demolishing
Six Coffin Bay oysters-a-devouring
Five …. bowls … of … friiiies
Four massive steak sandwiches
Three saffron and braised rabbit gnocchi
Two mini apricot danishes
And a real steak sandwich that was nice but chewy.

The spinach and potato roti from Blue Mini Café in Rosebud, i.e. the café on the corner as you turn right onto Port Nepean Road toward Portsea. Fabulous homewares and great snacks. (By the way, the plate in the picture is not pink – that’s my iPhone getting confused between using the regular camera and app Hipstamatic.)

Breakfast on the twelfth day of Christmas Eating – Cumulus Inc – is worth documenting another time.

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