The Graham

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Category: Bayside, Dinner, Gastropub, Lunch, Modern Australian

The handsome Graham, nestled amongst Victorian terraces and parkland in Port Melbourne

The Graham, a renovated pub on the quiet end of one of Port Melbourne’s busiest streets

EARLY ON A SUNNY SATURDAY MORNING

The Tubby Two are jogging along the beachside track, Tubbymistress a nose ahead. Clad in black leggings and a long-sleeved jogging shirt – and completely into the zone thanks to Kelly Rowland’s ‘Work’ – she is moving with unexpected gazelle-like grace.

A short shirtless man looms up on the track, heading toward her. Shirtless Man isn’t dripping with sweat but overt jogging superiority, decked out with an iPod armband, silver earphones and a suspicious winter tan. He is also smack-bang in the middle of the track and not showing any sign of moving across.

As he approaches, Tubbymistress steps off the track to avoid a collision. He swooshes past like an express train hurtling through a station. She glances over her shoulder at Tubbymaster, and frowns. ‘Do you think he even saw me?’

The Graham
cnr Graham St and Esplanade West, Port Melbourne VIC
www.thegraham.com.au

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Claypots Seafood – St Kilda

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Category: Bayside, Dinner, Lunch, seafood

A tangle of shellfish: The impressive shellfish stirfry, featuring crabs, prawns, mussels and yabbies

A tangle of shellfish: The impressive shellfish stirfry, featuring crabs, prawns, mussels and yabbies

I need to preface this blog post by saying, categorically, I am not a St Kilda girl. There’s something about this bayside hub that has always deterred me – except for the occasional summertime trip to Clamms or a gig at the Palais. It may have something to do with feeling like I could get mugged at any time, or that I’ll end up paying for parking. Or both. At the same time.

I do love how a plate of shellfish, so visually impressive it elicited a ‘Phwoar!’ from a neighbouring diner, could possible change all this …

Claypots Seafood (St Kilda)

213 Barkly St, St Kilda VIC

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It’s time for Seven:am

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Category: Bayside, Lunch, breakfast

The 'swimming pool' bowl of latte, ready for your attention at Seven:am.

The 'swimming pool' bowl of latte at Seven:am, guaranteed to dezombify

7.00 AM ON A SATURDAY MORNING

Tubbymistress is sitting cross-legged on her bed, bleary-eyed, the morning light and a disobedient body clock ending all hope of a rare sleep-in. She sleepily pushes her Justin Bieber-esque fringe out of her eyes and stares at the bedroom door, fully aware that Tubbymaster and an early morning jog are lying in wait on the other side.

The door opens, and Tubbymaster steps into the room, looking as tired as Tubbymistress feels.

TUBBYMASTER: Coffee?

Seven:am
155 Bay St, Port Melbourne VIC
http://www.sevenam.com.au
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The Victorian

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Category: Bayside, Dinner, Lunch, Modern Australian, Small plates, breakfast

The Big Vic, in all its glory

The Big Vic, in all its glory

EARLY ON A SATURDAY MORNING
It’s a calm, crisp Melbourne morning. Tubbymistress is ‘jogging’ along the beach, her ragged breathing punctuating the sound of children laughing and women talking on their iPhones. The bay is a serene shade of blue, its waves too sleepy to cause more than a ripple. Suddenly, a beacon of light looms up ahead.

The Victorian
123 Beaconsfield Parade (corner Kerford Rd)
Albert Park VIC

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Moulin Noir

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Category: Bayside, Dinner, French, Lunch, Tapas, breakfast

Chocolate tart: Just one of the sweet delights on offer at Moulin Noir

Chocolate tart: one of the sweet delights on offer at Moulin Noir

Moulin Noir, a little French café/restaurant tucked off Bay St, is a great casual dining experience. It’s perfect for lunch, with sandwiches large enough to silence even the most talkative of ladies. As I found out recently, dinner was pretty good too.

Moulin Noir
Rouse St, Port Melbourne

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Burger king

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Category: Bayside

'Plain with tomato'

An Andrew's burger, with wine

AROUND 5 PM ON A WARM MELBOURNE DAY (JANUARY EXCLUDED)

Tubbymistress is comfortably seated in a car, en route to her apartment. The sun is shining, and radio talk show hosts are filling her ears with jibberish. Her stomach is empty.

TUBBYMISTRESS: I think I want a burger tonight …

Andrew’s Hamburgers
144 Bridport St, Albert Park

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Is this fruit plate worth $16?

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Category: Bayside, Dinner, Lunch, Mediterranean, Tapas, breakfast

Seasonal fresh fruit plate with passionfruit hung yoghurt

Seasonal fresh fruit plate with passionfruit hung yoghurt

This is the question I chose to answer, after perusing Nacional’s breakfast menu on a sunny Melbourne morning. You might remember that Mr Tubbymaster and I were impressed with the tapas we sampled at this contemporary café on the border of Albert Park and Middle Park.

Nacional
36 Mills St (cnr Herbert St)
Albert Park
www.nacional.com.au

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Nacional

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Category: Bayside, Dinner, Lunch, Mediterranean, Tapas, breakfast

One problem with the city on a rainy Saturday night is the traffic. If you don’t want to contend with Melbourne’s public transport system, you’ll likely have to circumnavigate the CBD along with everyone else who’s searching for that elusive off-street car park.

Thankfully, there’s no such worry when heading to Nacional, a Mediterranean-inspired eatery, provedore and bottle shop from the same stable as city restaurant Syracuse. It’s out of the way—walking the tightrope between Albert Park and Middle Park—meaning you can dash out of the car and be settled in this slick, contemporary establishment without an entrée of silk dress à la raindrop.

Nacional
36 Mills St (cnr Herbert St)
Albert Park
www.nacional.com.au

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The Mosh Pit

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Category: Bayside, Dinner, Japanese, Lunch

What is ‘moshi moshi’?

1) Commonly used to answer the telephone in Japanese, similar to ‘hello’.

2) A cosy Japanese restaurant in Port Melbourne.

Moshi Moshi
79 Bay St, Port Melbourne
www.moshi-moshi.com.au

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