Ten Minutes by RCZ

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Category: Dinner, Lunch, Modern Australian, Mornington Peninsula, Winery restaurant

The 2010 Peugeot RCZ

The 2010 Peugeot RCZ

There once was a car named the Peugeot RCZ
It came out of nowhere, leaving the Batmobile for dead
The Batmobile fought to catch up but it was all in vain
The RCZ was already in Main Ridge, bathing in champagne.

Ten Minutes by Tractor
1333 Mornington-Flinders Road
Main Ridge VIC
http://www.tenminutesbytractor.com.au

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Montalto Vineyard and Olive Grove

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Category: Dinner, Lunch, Modern Australian, Winery restaurant

The view from the car park

The view from the car park

A SUNDAY MORNING, ANY TIME OF YEAR

Tubbymaster is sitting at his desk, a white-wash trestle table upon which his iMac is perched. As he taps out an email, he hears the nearby television stutter then hop to yet another channel. He glances over his shoulder at Tubbymistress, who is reclining on the couch, lazily flicking between channels in an attempt to find something other than football panel shows.

TUBBYMASTER: What do you feel like doing today?
TUBBYMISTRESS: I don’t know. What do you feel like doing?

Montalto Vineyard and Olive Grove
33 Shoreham Road, Red Hill South, VIC
www.montalto.com.au

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The Graham

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Category: Bayside, Dinner, Gastropub, Lunch, Modern Australian

The handsome Graham, nestled amongst Victorian terraces and parkland in Port Melbourne

The Graham, a renovated pub on the quiet end of one of Port Melbourne’s busiest streets

EARLY ON A SUNNY SATURDAY MORNING

The Tubby Two are jogging along the beachside track, Tubbymistress a nose ahead. Clad in black leggings and a long-sleeved jogging shirt – and completely into the zone thanks to Kelly Rowland’s ‘Work’ – she is moving with unexpected gazelle-like grace.

A short shirtless man looms up on the track, heading toward her. Shirtless Man isn’t dripping with sweat but overt jogging superiority, decked out with an iPod armband, silver earphones and a suspicious winter tan. He is also smack-bang in the middle of the track and not showing any sign of moving across.

As he approaches, Tubbymistress steps off the track to avoid a collision. He swooshes past like an express train hurtling through a station. She glances over her shoulder at Tubbymaster, and frowns. ‘Do you think he even saw me?’

The Graham
cnr Graham St and Esplanade West, Port Melbourne VIC
www.thegraham.com.au

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The Palace by Luke Mangan

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Category: Dinner, Gastropub, Lunch, Modern Australian

The Palace by Luke Mangan, perched on the corner of Pickles St and City Road, South Melbourne

The Palace by Luke Mangan, perched on the corner of Pickles St and City Road, South Melbourne

SOMETIME ON A SATURDAY AFTERNOON

The Batmobile is sitting at a busy intersection, waiting for the green light to continue its assault on Melbourne’s streets. In the front passenger seat, Tubbymistress is gazing outside as the sun dances on the window and the light turns to green.

A building catches her eye on the precipice of Port Melbourne. It looks like an old pub, one that has been dipped in a giant bucket of gunmetal grey paint.

TUBBYMASTER: What is that place?

TUBBYMISTRESS (shrugs): I don’t know. Some dodgy place, probably.

The Palace by Luke Mangan
505 City Road (cnr Pickles St), South Melbourne VIC
palacehotelmelbourne.com.au

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Rockpool Bar & Grill, Melbourne

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Category: CBD, Dinner, Lunch, Modern Australian, Steakhouse

The first time I dined at Rockpool Bar and Grill was the year I started at my first full-time job. Cashed up, carefree and childlike, I strode into the restaurant with my two high school friends, past the open-plan kitchen and through to the equally grand dining room resplendent in plums and browns. I remember being seated at the table in one of those comfortable leather chairs and being greeted by the image of a proudly posing cow on the menu in front of me – all the while feeling as if I was crashing a party made for wealthy businessmen.

On this night, the proudly posing cow had the last laugh. My friends unwittingly chose ‘My steak tartare with chips’ and were stunned to find that it was a dish best served cold. As they alternated between gagging and giggling at the prospect of eating this uncooked delicacy, I couldn’t help but savour every bite of my delectable duck ragu. It was sublime.

Rockpool Bar & Grill
Crown complex, Southbank VIC
(the last restaurant before Queensbridge St, right next to Crown Towers)
http://www.rockpool.com.au/melbourne/rockpool-bar-and-grill.html

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The Victorian

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Category: Bayside, Dinner, Lunch, Modern Australian, Small plates, breakfast

The Big Vic, in all its glory

The Big Vic, in all its glory

EARLY ON A SATURDAY MORNING
It’s a calm, crisp Melbourne morning. Tubbymistress is ‘jogging’ along the beach, her ragged breathing punctuating the sound of children laughing and women talking on their iPhones. The bay is a serene shade of blue, its waves too sleepy to cause more than a ripple. Suddenly, a beacon of light looms up ahead.

The Victorian
123 Beaconsfield Parade (corner Kerford Rd)
Albert Park VIC

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