Ten Minutes by RCZ

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Category: Dinner, Lunch, Modern Australian, Mornington Peninsula, Winery restaurant

The 2010 Peugeot RCZ

The 2010 Peugeot RCZ

There once was a car named the Peugeot RCZ
It came out of nowhere, leaving the Batmobile for dead
The Batmobile fought to catch up but it was all in vain
The RCZ was already in Main Ridge, bathing in champagne.

Ten Minutes by Tractor
1333 Mornington-Flinders Road
Main Ridge VIC

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Paringa Estate

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Category: Dinner, French, Mornington Peninsula, Winery restaurant

A little bit country: The inquisitive geese coming to play at Paringa Estate

A little bit country: The inquisitive geese coming to play at Paringa Estate


It’s a beautiful day for a drive in the Batmobile. The Tubby twosome are heading down the Moorooduc Highway, otherwise known as Rue de Roundabout, bound for Red Hill on the Mornington Peninsula. They are on time for their 12.30 date with winery restaurant Paringa Estate.

The exit sign for Red Hill appears on the road ahead. Tubbymaster glances across at Tubbymistress, who is playing with her iPhone in the passenger seat.

TUBBYMASTER: Is it this turnoff?
TUBBYMISTRESS (vaguely): No, I think it’s the next one. I’m sure we’ve gone past that bridge before.
TUBBYMASTER: It says ‘Red Hill’. Should I turn off or not?
TUBBYMISTRESS: No, take the next exit.

The Batmobile sails past the Red Hill exit. They are now late for their 12.30 date with Paringa Estate.

Paringa Estate
44 Paringa Road, Red Hill South VIC

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Montalto Vineyard and Olive Grove


Category: Dinner, Lunch, Modern Australian, Winery restaurant

The view from the car park

The view from the car park


Tubbymaster is sitting at his desk, a white-wash trestle table upon which his iMac is perched. As he taps out an email, he hears the nearby television stutter then hop to yet another channel. He glances over his shoulder at Tubbymistress, who is reclining on the couch, lazily flicking between channels in an attempt to find something other than football panel shows.

TUBBYMASTER: What do you feel like doing today?
TUBBYMISTRESS: I don’t know. What do you feel like doing?

Montalto Vineyard and Olive Grove
33 Shoreham Road, Red Hill South, VIC

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The pretty La Petanque

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Category: Dinner, French, Lunch, Winery restaurant


Tubbymistress is sitting in the backseat of an old taxi, en route from Fiji’s international airport to the palm-tree lined paradise known as Denarau Island. The contrast between the streets of Nadi and the tourist hotspot is immense, as if a veil of instant paradise has been made to order, leaving the rest of Fiji shrouded in third-world darkness.

FRIENDLY TAXI DRIVER (glancing at Tubbymistress in the rear-view mirror): There is regular time, and there is ‘Fiji time’. Only the planes run to schedule, you know.

The taxi headed over the narrow bridge and into Paradise.

The dining room at the very pretty La Petanque

The dining room at the pretty La Petanque

La Petanque is more south of France than Fiji. Instead of palm trees, you’ll find a beautiful garden that winds down to an equally charming restaurant. Instead of wonderful but sometime forgetful ladies delivering pina coladas to bikini-clad Tubbymistresses reclining on poolside deck chairs, you’ll find polite and friendly staff who make a habit of greeting you at the door as you arrive. The one thing that La Petanque and Fiji have in common is that they both seem to run to ‘Fiji time’ – perhaps not a bad thing if you’re here for a leisurely Sunday lunch.

La Petanque
1208 Mornington-Flinders Rd, Main Ridge VIC